Hai again! It’s been months since my last post and in some ways I thought it was the end of Used and Abused. I’ve just finished my first year at Uni and I’ve been doing a lot of reading and writing, not all of it interesting. Then the other day I get a comment from Florida Dom, a long-time reader, asking me if I was ever coming back. It got me thinking maybe I didn’t want to give up on the blog after all. Then I was going through some old files, organising my hard drive, and found some old blog posts -original, filthy fuckdoll shit, and I was like ‘where did that bitch go’? Then I looked through some porn and had a wank to Sasha Grey getting gangbanged, and realised she hasn’t gone anywhere.
I’ve been studying and being in love, basically. Master and I are so deeply in love and have moments of just falling deeper for each other. And yet not much sex. I mean there is always something; medications, me working late, too drunk, too lazy, too hot, too cold, need a shower...on and on. We are an old married couple, and not in a bad way. Back when I was writing, and having my dirtiest sex, I was newly single and fucking everyone. I don’t want to fuck everyone now, I just want to fuck Master. I want him to fuck me, use and abuse me. I want to combine what we had then with what we have now. The way I see it, relationships take effort and I can’t whinge about the things I want without making an effort to get them.
The plan is to get a bit more healthy/fit/slim, feel better about myself and make more effort to fire up Master’s libido. Wearing my collar more, wakeup blowjobs, and meeting him in various states of undress when he gets home from work, are just a few ideas.
So here’s to blogging again, and lots more kinky shit.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Generation Gap
So I really felt the age difference at Uni today. The lecturer was discussing an advertisement from 1985 and he asked everyone to put their hand up if they were alive in 1985. Me and about 3 other people of maybe 2-300 people put their hand up. Far out, I realised all these people are only 18 or 19, maybe 20...they were most likly born in the 90’s. Wow.
Later on my tutor made a joke about Scully from X-Files and only me and one other guy laughed, and then I realised they probably don’t know X-Files. Oh God.
So then the gap got even bigger when I started to sprout these opinions that I realised were being looked down upon because they were, in these people’s eyes, quite archaic. Man I feel old, and not old in the age sense...more like out of touch or out of my depth. More stuff happened, like some Youtube viral clip was being shown and all I could do was cringe. I hate the term ‘viral’...don’t even get me started on the inanity of the videos themselves. Uggggg... *old sad face*
Then there is the problem of not being ‘out’ about my work or my lifestyle (D/s) at Uni, not that I want to tell everyone it’s just I’m not used to hiding it. I have for a long time been only in a circle of people I can be completely honest with, and I love that. At the same time I’m completely out of practice having to watch what I say and not really being truly myself...I don’t like that.
In case you haven’t worked out by now the next three years this blog will be about me whinging about Uni. Hope that’s ok n’ stuff.
Anyway, better get back to it. (Where are my glasses and walker?)
Later on my tutor made a joke about Scully from X-Files and only me and one other guy laughed, and then I realised they probably don’t know X-Files. Oh God.
So then the gap got even bigger when I started to sprout these opinions that I realised were being looked down upon because they were, in these people’s eyes, quite archaic. Man I feel old, and not old in the age sense...more like out of touch or out of my depth. More stuff happened, like some Youtube viral clip was being shown and all I could do was cringe. I hate the term ‘viral’...don’t even get me started on the inanity of the videos themselves. Uggggg... *old sad face*
Then there is the problem of not being ‘out’ about my work or my lifestyle (D/s) at Uni, not that I want to tell everyone it’s just I’m not used to hiding it. I have for a long time been only in a circle of people I can be completely honest with, and I love that. At the same time I’m completely out of practice having to watch what I say and not really being truly myself...I don’t like that.
In case you haven’t worked out by now the next three years this blog will be about me whinging about Uni. Hope that’s ok n’ stuff.
Anyway, better get back to it. (Where are my glasses and walker?)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Must. Do. Everything.
Man Uni is crazy. It’s only the third week and I’m already feeling stressed. The problem with me is I’m a perfectionist. I’m either doing nothing, being lazy and loving it or if I decide to do something I go full tilt. So I’m really giving myself a hard time about assignments and having brain meltdowns trying to keep up with readings and lecture content. I just can’t do a half assed job at something, I MUST do it perfect the first time or not at all; which means I often quit things before I start.
Master and I arrived home the other day, late at night after both of us finished work and I’d been to Uni earlier in the day. We walked into the kitchen, turned the light on and masses of tiny cockroaches scattered for shelter. Master got quite frustrated and I looked around at the dirty dishes and burst into tears. “I’m a bad slave!” I sobbed. I felt like I had let him down. He took me in his arms and hugged me for a long time. “You can’t do everything” he reassured me. “But I want to be able to do it all”. Housework, work and school should all be doable, right? Well, maybe the dishes can sometimes wait, and the clothes will eventually get washed. I do need to realise I can’t do everything, and things won’t always be perfect.
Master and I arrived home the other day, late at night after both of us finished work and I’d been to Uni earlier in the day. We walked into the kitchen, turned the light on and masses of tiny cockroaches scattered for shelter. Master got quite frustrated and I looked around at the dirty dishes and burst into tears. “I’m a bad slave!” I sobbed. I felt like I had let him down. He took me in his arms and hugged me for a long time. “You can’t do everything” he reassured me. “But I want to be able to do it all”. Housework, work and school should all be doable, right? Well, maybe the dishes can sometimes wait, and the clothes will eventually get washed. I do need to realise I can’t do everything, and things won’t always be perfect.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Mardi Gras 2011
Wow, what a full on week I’ve had. Last week was my first week at Uni. I know that’s a lot of week but I couldn’t work out how else to start my post. LOL. I’ve decided to stay at my 40 hours a week at work and even though a lot of that time was taken up with nothing before, now I have to use all the spare time I have for reading and assignments. Then I have 9 hours a week ‘contact time’ which means lectures and tutorials. It may not sound like a lot but they say for each contact hour you should be doing 2-3 hours in your own time, and I can see how 3 hours would be easily chewed up by all the reading I have to do. Now you can see why I haven’t blogged all week. Complaining aside I’m really enjoying the course so far; I even don’t mind doing the assignments I kind of don’t want to do (Does that make sense?). So after that explanation you can all forgive me for gaps in posts, I truly do want to continue to write here. (Note: must point out to Master how much I apologise on the blog)
On the weekend Master and I marched in the Sydney Mardi Gras. It was my second time and Master’s first time and we both had a ball. I knew what to expect, but Master was just blown away by how great it feels. It’s very liberating to march up the middle of a usually busy main road, surrounded on either side by throngs of people cheering for you. No matter what banner you march under it’s a wonderful experience. We marched this year for Scarlet Alliance, a Sydney based organisation that deals with sex worker rights. It was great to have Master there proudly supporting me as a sex worker. Some of our friends were also in the parade as fetishist, latex ponies and the polyamorous. It was really an awesome night.
My sister is in town this week so we won’t be able to go to our favourite monthly kink party. I thought about taking her but I think it’s best to keep it as a space for Master and myself. I know she would be completely fine with what goes on there, if a little shocked, but I know we couldn’t be as free in that space as we usually could. There will be a plenty more parties so it’s not too much of a sacrifice considering I don’t see my sister often.
Bai xx
P.S I’ll try and have some juicy stories to tell you by next time.
On the weekend Master and I marched in the Sydney Mardi Gras. It was my second time and Master’s first time and we both had a ball. I knew what to expect, but Master was just blown away by how great it feels. It’s very liberating to march up the middle of a usually busy main road, surrounded on either side by throngs of people cheering for you. No matter what banner you march under it’s a wonderful experience. We marched this year for Scarlet Alliance, a Sydney based organisation that deals with sex worker rights. It was great to have Master there proudly supporting me as a sex worker. Some of our friends were also in the parade as fetishist, latex ponies and the polyamorous. It was really an awesome night.
My sister is in town this week so we won’t be able to go to our favourite monthly kink party. I thought about taking her but I think it’s best to keep it as a space for Master and myself. I know she would be completely fine with what goes on there, if a little shocked, but I know we couldn’t be as free in that space as we usually could. There will be a plenty more parties so it’s not too much of a sacrifice considering I don’t see my sister often.
Bai xx
P.S I’ll try and have some juicy stories to tell you by next time.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
BUSY!
Hai,
Just wanted to pop in and say I haven't gone anywhere, and also thank those who commented and made my welcome back so nice.
Second day of Uni today and lots of reading to do, also work has picked up too so I'm pretty busy. But I'll find time for you all I promise. ASAP.
xx
Just wanted to pop in and say I haven't gone anywhere, and also thank those who commented and made my welcome back so nice.
Second day of Uni today and lots of reading to do, also work has picked up too so I'm pretty busy. But I'll find time for you all I promise. ASAP.
xx
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday Morning
Morning! I’m enjoying my first proper Sunday off in 2 years. I no longer work weekends and neither does Master, so we are really enjoying our new time together. Currently Master is playing GT5 and has been since he got up. He gets the shits every time I walk past with my robe undone as his eyes rove off the screen over my body, and he eventually crashes the car into a wall. LOL. I’ve made coffee and breakfast, read the news and a caught up a little on some blogs. The days plan consists of: cleaning the house, doing the dishes, making lasagne from scratch and then maybe some GT5 myself.
I’ve started wearing my collar at home again which is nice. I’ve had it on since Friday night, only taking it off yesterday to go shopping, but luckily I can replace it with my beautiful outside version. Have I shown you all? Maybe I haven’t.
Here then:
Master got it made for me for last year’s birthday and I’m trying to work out why it’s taken a year to tell you about it. After having a quick browse of the blog it was most likely because shit hit the fan not long after that and that’s all I was writing about. Anyway it’s very beautiful and I love it.
I’ll just jump in here and say now Master is crashing his GT5 car because I started talking about anal sex, and he started visualising. LOL.
I think I’ve procrastinated long enough now. Probably time to clean the house and such. Looks like this might be a regular thing...this blogging thing.
I’ve started wearing my collar at home again which is nice. I’ve had it on since Friday night, only taking it off yesterday to go shopping, but luckily I can replace it with my beautiful outside version. Have I shown you all? Maybe I haven’t.
Here then:
Master got it made for me for last year’s birthday and I’m trying to work out why it’s taken a year to tell you about it. After having a quick browse of the blog it was most likely because shit hit the fan not long after that and that’s all I was writing about. Anyway it’s very beautiful and I love it.
I’ll just jump in here and say now Master is crashing his GT5 car because I started talking about anal sex, and he started visualising. LOL.
I think I’ve procrastinated long enough now. Probably time to clean the house and such. Looks like this might be a regular thing...this blogging thing.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Morning Wank
Anyone ever wake up horny as hell and have to wank?
The way it happens for me is I'm usually dreaming about something and in the dream I'm turned on. It's right before I wake up and I even have the thought in my dream that I need to wank when I wake. I then almost immediately wake and sleepily find a dildo and go at it.
And that's exactly how it went this morning. I was dreaming about something bizarre that turned erotic. It involved shelves of porn and Master had taken all the good stuff and I decided I needed to watch some too. That's when I woke and knew even before I was conscious that I needed a wank. I thought about porn and decided against it as it would have been too much effort and I just needed to ‘rub one out’ quick smart.
I got up out of bed, grabbed my favourite dildo, back to bed, towel down, lubed up and shoved the dildo right in; I was loose and ready.
I fucked myself for a total of 30secs before deciding I needed a cock in my ass too. I grabbed a small one because my ass is out of practice and with a bit of lube it slide right in. Another 30secs of grinding on these to cocks and I shuddered to anal orgasm. I took the cock out of my ass and thought...I could do with more pussy fucking since it all finished so quickly.
Literally another 30secs and I had a very intense pussy orgasm, groaning loudly.
I must apologise to Master as I promised him pics next time I wanked but I was way too sleepy still to contemplate pics. So I took one after of the offending toys. :p ;) Next time, I promise.
The way it happens for me is I'm usually dreaming about something and in the dream I'm turned on. It's right before I wake up and I even have the thought in my dream that I need to wank when I wake. I then almost immediately wake and sleepily find a dildo and go at it.
And that's exactly how it went this morning. I was dreaming about something bizarre that turned erotic. It involved shelves of porn and Master had taken all the good stuff and I decided I needed to watch some too. That's when I woke and knew even before I was conscious that I needed a wank. I thought about porn and decided against it as it would have been too much effort and I just needed to ‘rub one out’ quick smart.
I got up out of bed, grabbed my favourite dildo, back to bed, towel down, lubed up and shoved the dildo right in; I was loose and ready.
I fucked myself for a total of 30secs before deciding I needed a cock in my ass too. I grabbed a small one because my ass is out of practice and with a bit of lube it slide right in. Another 30secs of grinding on these to cocks and I shuddered to anal orgasm. I took the cock out of my ass and thought...I could do with more pussy fucking since it all finished so quickly.
Literally another 30secs and I had a very intense pussy orgasm, groaning loudly.
I must apologise to Master as I promised him pics next time I wanked but I was way too sleepy still to contemplate pics. So I took one after of the offending toys. :p ;) Next time, I promise.
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