Who needs furniture!

Master has been on a bit of a rollercoaster the last few days. I’m getting more used to what I need to do to help and make things as easy as possible for him. I think he sometimes wonders why I stick around, but for me there is no question. I love all of him. I realise that there will be hard times, but they are only part of who he is. There is so much fun we have and things we share that it makes the bad times insignificant. I guess the hardest thing is when he looks at me in despair, unable to control the pain, rage or suicidal thoughts. I can only imagine how hard it is for him. But I’m sticking by him. I’m in this for good.

In other news we’ve moved into our apartment, and although it’s a bombsite with all our crap, we are having a ball. It’s been such a long time looking and facing constant rejection. Finally we can relax and just enjoy living by the beach in summer. OH YEAH! We still don’t have any furniture but it doesn’t matter. We are so infatuated at the moment we just entertain ourselves. Who needs furniture!

Anonymity and the politics of sex blogging.

So, Belle de Jour now has a name. The once anonymous blogger and author has now revealed herself to the world. Apparently an ex threatened to make it public and so she bit the bullet and exposed her own identity.


We all love our anonymity. It’s part of the reason we can share all our sordid details to the world. We tell complete strangers about our darkest, filthiest secrets, and yet we could not share that information with our closest friends or family. It’s such a strange concept really. Being anonymous allows us to be more open with ourselves and others. We can accept and nurture parts of ourselves that are perhaps seen as immoral or unsavoury. We don’t want to be judged badly by the people that count most in our lives, and yet we don’t mind if some stranger on the other side of the world comments on our cummings and goings. In fact, I value what my readers have to say. I write in part for them, for you.


I’ve been thinking about the whole anonymous thing recently. What if someone found my real identity? Would I care? I mean honestly I wouldn’t want my mum reading my blog and knowing what fucked up shit I get into. But beyond that do I care? You know I don’t really think so. I’m not going to plaster my face across the net, although in some places I have. I’d actually like to be ‘out and proud’ about being in a D/s relationship, about being sex-positive, about being a sex worker. I’d like to lead by example and show the world you can have a healthy, positive and honest attitude towards sex and sexuality. Will I do that? Maybe one day. At this stage though I don’t think there is much point. I mean who am I? I’m not yet going to make a difference. Maybe down the track if I write a book or actually get out there and promote sex-positive attitudes, then perhaps putting a face to the politics will make a difference.

As much as I hate to admit it, this is political. I’d almost forgotten why I do this; women having a voice when it comes to their own sexuality. This is what we want and that is how we want it. Give it to me all day, all night. And if that’s too confronting for you, then go bury your head in the sand and pretend that women don’t have a sex drive.


What does this identification of Belle mean for her and her readers? Will they identify more because she is a real flesh and blood person, not some made up pseudonym?


I know I’ve really only touched on these issues, something to think about more I guess. This post developed into more than I’d expected, but has raised some interesting things for me, and hopefully you too.

- Still fuckdoll.

Hard Cock!

God I love a hard cock. I was browsing tumblr and saw a delicious pic of a hard cock and just had to share it with you all. I keep looking at it and thinking how nice and hard it looks, how nice it would feel inside.

Rock hard is the best, when you hold onto it and it’s solid, rigid. They look good and they feel good. Then the turgid member bashes the inside of your cunt, smashing your cervix. Mmmmmm.

Hard cock is good cock.

tumblr.

I’ve gone all geeky and opened a tumblr. I’m still working out what I want to do with it and if I’ll keep it up. It has made me want to learn more HTML script and possibly even delve into web design. I was so proud the other day as I taught myself to embed a hyperlink into text, and I got it right the first time.

There may be some crossover between this blog and the tumblr, but I’m keeping that mostly for images and this blog mostly for words.

Drop by and visit ME. Also let me know if you have a tumblr too, I’d love to check it out.

Geekgurl signing out!

Happy happy joy joy!

Finally we have an apartment of our own. We got the news yesterday that we'd been approved. At the time it was like a massive weight lifted off me, and still it still hasn't fully sunk in. Master and I are ecstatic as you can imagine. We now have a little beach pad for summer. Not to mention all the privacy we could ask for. We get to move in early next week. Eeeeeeeeeee!

The meal rationing has been going well. Master is becoming more comfortable. As I already knew he is a natural at being in charge; he just hadn't had the chance. Now I just need to get exercising, maybe I can get him to order me to workout. :)

Master got quite excited last night and fucked the shit out of me. The kind of relentless hard pounding that makes my eyes roll back. When the pleasure is so intense I begin to cry with pain, but I just lie there and take it. Just the way we both like it. Hawtness!

Yay, yay, yay! So happy!
:)

OMG I met Sasha Grey!!!

Master and I went to Sexpo, a sex industry trade show of sorts. There are lots of stalls to buy things like porn, lingerie, vibrators and anything sex oriented. They have shows with pole dancers and strippers. You can have your picture taken with a porn star, get them to sign your DVD’s and generally have a good perv.


As exciting as it all sounds, it could be a lot better. It’s a little mainstream, and while most people are easily titillated, it takes a bit more to get me excited.


I went for the first time last year, and it was fun, the kind of thing you have to do once. This year was different. Sasha Grey was attending. She was hosting for G4TV who were doing a show on Sexpo. As soon as I found out, I knew I had to go (and stalk her).


My friend went the day before me (as it’s on for 4 days) and I got a message while I was out saying she had met Sasha and taken photos which she immediately posted to her Facebook page. Even though I was a little jealous, it was a good sign that I could meet her too.


Master and I had been at Sexpo for about 30mins and I had almost given up hope of seeing Sasha. I was in the middle of signing up to Australia’s latest political party, and the first I’ve ever been inclined to join, The Australian Sex Party. Master tapped me on the shoulder and I turn around to see a camera crew and tiny little Sasha Grey walking amongst them. OMG!!!! Wooooooooohhhhoooooooo!


I quickly finished what I was doing and then stood in awe for a few minutes not sure what to do. I hate being the gushy fan, but I couldn’t muster a cool exterior if my life depended on it. I didn’t know what to do at that point, but with a little encouragement from Master I tapped one of Sasha’s entourage on the shoulder and politely asked if I could say hello. After a few minutes and some talking to her manager we were allowed to say hello. In return we had to consent to being interviewed for her television show. Fine, I would have done most anything at that moment just to meet my hero.


So I got a kiss and a few hugs from Sasha Grey and was a jabbering mess who couldn’t string 2 sentences together. I wished I could have had some witty banter about sexuality and the liberation of the female sex drive, but it wasn’t meant to be. I did happen to tell her I worked as a Pro Domme, and that I loved her movies. I asked her about her visit to Sydney and had my photo taken with her. She was super lovely, relaxed and down to earth. I really wished I could just sit down and have a proper conversation with her, but meeting her was good enough. I was so excitable afterwards, and kept annoying Master with “OMG I just met Sasha Grey!”


Of course we went home and fucked each other’s brains out; as I’m sure many couples did after the show. When I awoke this morning I just lay there with a grin on my face thinking about meeting my porn-heroine. I was all warm and fuzzy inside.


I couldn’t tell you all this and leave it at that. Would you really believe me without proof? I had to blur my face out, but here is the evidence. She is more beautiful in real life than I expected too.

Tasks.

Besides the house situation, things are going wonderfully with Master and I. We had a really great chat the other day about how we see our future, and what kind of D/s relationship we want. Everything is so new and fresh, with so much potential. I explained to Master what type of things I crave from D/s, and encouraged him to think about and express his desires also. He is still finding his feet in this new world, and coming to understand the possibilities before him. Although I shared my ideals with him, I made it clear I didn't want to influence his desires. I want him to create and direct our relationship in his ideal, something that he has begun to do.
Part of what I expressed was a need to live submissively day to day, not just in the bedroom. We have the whole bedroom thing down to a fine art, now it's time to work on how we want our lives to be.
So we have begun tasks. This is a task. I had time to spare before my leg wax and I didn't know what to do. Master instructed me to sit in a cafe and update you all on how things are going. This may seem like second nature for most D/s couples, but Master is still getting used to his control, and getting his bearings at the helm.
We are both trying to get healthy, but I have a love affair with bacon and eggs so need a little help to resist. So Master decided to instruct me on what meals I can have. This morning I asked what I should have for breakfast and I was ordered to stay healthy and go with muesli and fruit. It was an enjoyable exchange for both of us. It may not always be convenient and it's not something that has to occur for each meal, but it really works for our development. I feel instructed and gain pleasure from this, and Master gets to practice asserting control.
I've also been pushing more decisions his way, like with the house hunting and things that affect our relationship. I am more than capable of making those decisions and he trusts my judgement, but I feel it's important for him to be reminded of what he has taken on, and the responsibilities of being the dominant. Soon it will be second nature. Everyday I feel him becoming more confident in himself and his new life.

This is my 100th post, and I couldn't go without sharing a little filth with you all.

So, last night we had such a great fuck. I know I always say our sex is great, but there is everyday great and there is porno-grade fucking.
Master had picked me up from work and I suggested we have sex since the house was empty. When we finally got home I was really tired and almost thought of leaving the sex till later. Luckily Master took control and just pushed me on the bed. He only removed my pants to my knees before pushing me back down on my stomach and fucking me from behind. So instantly I began to feel used, like just a toy. Yum! I love when he's fully on top of me, pushing his hands down on my head. I am unable to move under his body weight, and fantasise that he's raping me. I just have to lay there and take it. This just gets me so wet. Master rolled me over to my side and kneeled up fucking me while I held my legs to my chest. We love this position as it tightens my pussy and makes the sex really intense for both of us. Because of the curve in Master's cock, and the side I was laying on, the head of his cock was pounding right into my g-spot and I was coming in minutes. It's the kind of unrelenting, mind bending orgasms that have me in a state non-coherence; a blubbering mess.
Master was in fine form, really using his doll. He punched and slapped my body and face as I continued to come all over him. "Use me" I moaned as his thrusts grew faster. "What do you want?" "I want your cum, pleeeaaaasse!" Heehee, and of course I got it. Yummy! It was the kind of fuck we both needed, to de-stress and reset.

We had more sex later too, a little drunk but still yummy. I'm such a lucky girl!

:)